Poetry/prose/creative writing.

[Intrepid_traveler]

Eliza tells me not to ever give the slightest amount of trust to the girl from 26th street, she says I should stay away from her. She said just because she May have a good heart at her core doesn't mean that she has a good head on her shoulders. Eliza tells me that she has a good deal of cruelty in her, and that she is very aware of me, and that her intentions are bad. Eliza says she's confused and and has no sympathy at all for me, and since her views are distorted she can justify doing horrible things and still feel that she was in the right. Eliza says that the girl from 26th knows exactly who I am, and that if I knew her means of knowing who I am and if I knew some of the things she has done that I would know to stay away from her.

Eliza is never wrong about these things, and this morning I had Eliza ride the bus with me, she sat near the back of the bus with her hood pretty much over her face looking like she was almost sleeping. She wanted to see this girl and get a 'read" on her, and it turns out that Eliza knows who she is, and as you saw above she had nothing good to say about her. Eliza didn't say that she directly knew her, but she knows who she is.

Bummer, in another life we could have made a great couple. I can't imagine who or what would poison this girl on me, and Eliza didn't say very much, she mostly just told me to stay away from her and that under no circumstances should I trust her, she says I shouldn't even sit near her. She says not to post anything online about her either and she gave me the impression that this girl was well aware of all I had written, but again, Eliza didn't want to say much.

Eliza knows everybody and has been everywhere, and I know she knows more than she was telling me at that moment, its usually for my own good when she holds things back from me, she knows that timing can mean everything, and that if I play my cards right I can come out on top of this thing.

Eliza very rarely says negative things about anybody, so when she does I tend to listen.

I don't always just listen to Eliza, but I'm definitely going to keep all of that in mind.

I can't think of any reason why Eliza would warn me about this girl unless it was justified...

Ill give the girl from 26th the benefit of the doubt for now, but eliza's whole reaction was really not what I expected.


Such a strange day...

[Intrepid_traveler]

My enemies are weak right now, and have been resorting to desperate tactics, and defeat for them is certian, for I have truth on my side and the grace of God at my back, and all they have is slander, and a fickle mistress named luck.

Well, they also have friends who will willingly and gladly believe made up little stories and lies just because it suits their interests. I think these people are terrified that if the truth ever did come out that everybody would like me and everybody would hate them you would not believe the time and effort these people spend trying to make me look bad, I mean, seriously, it must take up a huge portion of their life. Its dedication on an outrageous level, and must dominate these people's minds. All they can think about is me, its pretty sick.

I've never seen anybody put so much effort into trying to make others think that someone was a homosexual, which speaks to the intelligence and maturity of these people, and mean its outrageous how much effort is extended on that one area, even if I were gay how is that an insult? Its 2018 not 1956, convincing people that I'm gay isn't going to get me hung by the neck in town square, and honestly it Bentsen hurt my business with the ladies, but whatever, it's their waste if a life.

... they know that if others liked me that these same others would realize how fake they were and not like them. So, just like you would expect people who live in a fantasy dream land rather than reality would do, they created lies, rumours, and hoaxes to try to make me look bad and accept them as fact, coming out the truth and the real world for their little fantasies.

These people will write some really sick things when impersonating me, and it made me think, these people have to be sick in the head just to think of this stuff, and that in reality those are their true thoughts...I could never think of those things, you would have to be sick to even generate such ideas, so while everybody is sitting around freaked out at me because of the lies they just told them, its really them that everybody should have those feelings for, they are sitting right next to horrible, disgusting, sick and perverted people while not even knowing it. Do you think if these people knew that it was really their friends words and actions and that it was all the creation of their friends minds that they would still be friends with them? The answer should be no, but sadly these people live in a fantasy, they would rather believe horrible lies about me when they know the truth is that kts their own friends who are sick and fucked up.

Whew, that felt good to vent. I went on that same rant on a site that some of these people post on and was instantly banned, which means I hit a sore nerve, I was getting to the truth of the matter, and I was doing so publicly.

.... They can't stand the thought of others being my friend because they feel so inferior, and they know others would realize how fake and full of shit that they had always been.

These people are motivated for all the reasons below as far as I can tell, but rather than talking about my faults they are simply making faults up, they even go as far as impersonating me, regardless, the excerpt below very clearly outlines their motivation,

... they will tell people "he doesn't know what he is talking about" if they don't buy that they say "he is crazy" if they don't buy that they say "he is homosexual" and if the people still don't think poorly of me they will impersonate me,any way, below describes part of their motivations:

Another situation in which we speak about others' faults is when we're angry with them. Here we may talk about their faults for a variety of reasons. Sometimes it's to win other people over to our side. "If I tell these other people about the argument Bob and I had and convince them that he is wrong and I'm right before Bob can tell them about the argument, then they'll side with me." Underlying that is the thought, "If others think I'm right, then I must be." It's a weak attempt to convince ourselves we're okay when we haven't spent the time honestly evaluating our own motivations and actions.

At other times, we may talk about others' faults because we're jealous of them. We want to be respected and appreciated as much as they are. In the back of our minds, there's the thought, "If others see the bad qualities of the people I think are better than me, then instead of honoring and helping them, they'll praise and assist me." Or we think, "If the boss thinks that person is unqualified, she'll promote me instead." Does this strategy win others' respect and appreciation? Hardly.

Some people "psychoanalyze" others, using their half-baked knowledge of pop psychology to put someone down. Comments such as "he's borderline" or "she's paranoid" make it sound as if we have authoritative insight into someone's internal workings, when in reality we disdain their faults because our ego was affronted. Casually psychoanalyzing others can be especially harmful, for it may unfairly cause a third party to be biased or suspicious.
http://thubtenchodron.org/2011/06/harmonious-speech/

they live in a fantasy dream land that has no connection to the real world, they believe their own lies as fact and ignore reality, they choose to accepted fairy tales and made up little rumours and stories as their "real" world. Some day they are going to have to come out of their fantasy little dream world and face reality and accept the the truth.

[Intrepid_traveler]

Ok, car ride is over and my brain hurts from all that typing...

[Intrepid_traveler]

Another beautiful day that I am grateful to be alive and well.

...life would be perfect if I could only eliminate the influence of my enemies.

Day by day I get closer to bringing the truth to light.

[Intrepid_traveler]

I spent a little time on the mountain,
I spent a little time on the hill,
I heard some say "Better run away",
Others say "Better stand still".

Now I don't know, but I been told
It's hard to run with the weight of gold,
Other hand I have heard it said,
It's just as hard with the weight of lead.[/u]
-grateful dead ; new speedway boogie

[judih]

good to listen to the Dead. clears the head

[Intrepid_traveler]

The dead's lyrics are full of incredibly valuable wisdom that one almost has to live their way into understanding...

I think that's part of the beauty of Robert Hunter and John Perry Barlow's collaboration efforts in producing the words to these songs, this is real poetry presented in jam band format.

The dead's music is there to ease our pain, to give us guidance and advice, and to give us wisdom, love, and community.

Regardless, the dead are so much more than a rock and roll band.

Its like the African parable of the blind men and the elephant, everybody has a different idea of exactly what that thing was. ...and jerry meant it to be that way, jerry Said that "when you leave something undefined it becomes everything", so it makes sense that nobody ever attempted to place a set definition of what the dead was, and when I say the dead I'm not just talking about the band, I'm talking about the ever moving, ever changing and constantly evolving community and culture as well as the band.

A dead show is going to be reassuringly familiar and refreshingly new every time it's experienced. All of the things that you recognize as being part of the dead show experience are still in place, yet it's also very clear that things had managed to change, grow, and evolve into something novel, new and beautiful that has seemed to incorporate itself right into the woodwork of the familiar.

The psychedelic experience itself tends to be that way as well, it's "reassuringly familiar, and refreshingly new" every time it's experienced. The familiar signposts of a psychedelic experience are still there, yet somehow you always encounter something completely new and unexpected each time. Every time you think you have seen it all, and that there will be no more surprises, the thing manages to conjure up something you never could have predicted or imagined.

[Intrepid_traveler]

I think I have discerned the reason why psychedelic sexuality is so misunderstood.

Most can't differentiate the difference between true eros and the devalued perversion of eros which has been disseminated to the masses and programmed into the individual through various means.

So while I am talking about eros, oneness, love, ecstasy, and the most sacred and spiritual aspects of sexuality, all most can think about is filth for filth's sake. ...then when you start talking about sex with multiple partners or orgiastic sexuality people really start becoming uncomfortable.

It seems most can't differentiate "eros" from "being horny", and furthermore only understand sexuality in a very shallow, basic, and utilitarian form.

Most people's sex is very ego centered, its a rush to an orgasm and seems to be fully focused on self, even the pleasure given to their partners is for some self gratifying purpose.

...if you need a cigarette after sex your probably not doing it right.


Any way, I'm still exploring psychedelic sexuality with my friends Melanie, ayela, Delilah, and Eliza. I think since we have been incorporating spiritual aspects into our group sexuality it has managed to reach deeper levels. I'm reminded of tantric yoga and karmamudra practices, only with several girls instead of one. Sometimes we can reach pretty intense spiritual/sexual states without even using the MDMA, 2c-B, 5-meo-dipt, or LSD as catalysts.

I still think LSD is one of the best compounds for orgiastic sexuality.

Any way, below is an excerpt where McKenna briefly outlines eros:

Eros and the Eschaton, these are the two areas that I think compromise the old paradigm and give permission to hope and strangely neither of these words is that well known, which gives you a measure of how completely the dominator position has squelched,subverted, and down played any opposition to its world view.

Eros we know about in some kind of devalued schticky kind of glitzy waybecause we get it in the eroticization of media, and society, but really what eros means in the Greek sense is a kind of unity of nature a kind of all pervasive order that bridges one ontological level to another. -terence McKenna

[Intrepid_traveler]

Mind of psilocybin
by Joey Iaquinto (lucid optics)

Observe and interpret
Up from the core to the surface

We are tenuous flicks of scintillation
Given an invitation to take a position in this pulsation

Life is death's vacation
As a child I was a vagrant
Learned every home held it's own fragrance
Differing versions of sacred decorate each person's faces
They complicate the basics till the common ground is evasiveness

Is it strange
Who takes the cake weighs most?
And swallows hope of the masses
To live lavishly
Lay low

Found our way around this molecule
If we can scrape by in solitude
We'll climb grape vines when all of you
Shape this world how you wanted to

I'd like to eat well
And to Keep companions closer than the common recluse
spewing seclusion in conclusion

Good leaders are no different than their followers
However elitists breed the fetus like it's Jesus...
Fucking... christ!
Dictated its life
Without realizing that your mind is yours for finding
Close your eyes and dive in privacy

We treat each other like garbage
Are we mimicking our surroundings?
Are we parrots with what we found
Or parasitic?
Killing our grounding

Astound I wither toward the grave
My fire flickers
As this unrelenting winter turns fingers to decrepit splinters
My voice is in different locations
I'm a nuetrino to lucid adjacent
Communicating statements without leaving my current placement

Listen:
Even when your will to be awake plummets and breaks
Don't be so distant and faceless
Just perforate the stasis

And represent yourself
Not your enemies and demons
Represent yourself
Not your enemies and demons]

It can be easy to grudge on autopilot for awhile
But you can probably cut some slack to people when
They can't make you smile

Free yourself from your own grip
Start to make some of your own shit

[Intrepid_traveler]

The first night I met Melanie we had both been at a small get together. Most of the people there were on one psychedelic or another, and on that particular night myself and Melanie had both been taking rather high doses of LSD.

I was incredibly intoxicated on LSD and wanted to have a minute to myself, so I found what I thought was an empty room and locked the door behind me. I then sat down near the door, still never thinking to turn on the lights. The room was pitch dark. I had just started to relax thinking that I had finally found some space where I could be alone, when I heard a small sneeze, I must have nearly jumped through the roof, I damn near had a heart attack, and let out a loud yell while I was being startled. After a moment of confusion and bad noise I realized that there had been a crying girl curled up in a ball not more than 4 feet away from me.

This was the first time that I had met Melanie.

She had been going through an incredibly rough time in her life and the LSD had induced a state of deep intense emotional and psychological introspection, one of those states where you feel like crying for all of humanity, where you become deeply compassionate, empathetic, and deep feeling, and feel an emptiness and feeling of isolation as you weep for all tragedies that have befallen every sentient being to ever exist.

In these states you also tend to dive into your own psychology, often facing the fact that your a jerk many times a moment, while deeply feeling isolation, and often you just want to get away from everything and enter a catatonic processing state. This is how Melanie was feeling when I first met her. Melanie had also been dealing with some pretty terrible stuff which wasn't entirely in her control, and on top of that she had just left a tumultuous friendship in which she had been hurt and done wrong many times.

I sat and listened to her for hours, doing all that I could to comfort her, and on several occasions we both ended up holding each other in our arms crying. It was a pretty intense and emotional night. As the Sun was starting to rise I began playing guitar, and with Melanie cuddled up closely by my side I played and sang the song below for her.

She said she was already feeling much better just through our conversations, and through my efforts to comfort her, but she said when I played and sang this song for her that it really had a deep and profound impact, she said she was overcome by intense warmth, comfort, and happiness, and that she could feel a genuine love and compassion which seemed to ease all of her suffering, lift all of her burdens, and reminded her that she wasn't alone, that there was someone who understands her and who will always be there for her.
 
...any way...

...I've been up all night having sex with two girls on entactogenic/empathogenic psychedelic aphrodisiac substances and I'm still pretty exhausted mentally as well as physically, but I promised Melanie I would post a story about our meeting.

Melanie, I know you had a rough morning, and I wanted to post this so that when you log into my account today you will have a pleasant reminder of how much I love you, as well as a reminder that everything is going to be just fine, just keep your head up, and good things will come to you.


I love you my darling Melanie.

Life Goes On
by Iya terra
Lift up your head weary one
I see that sorrow in your eyes
Life got you down again
But you've got to realize
It takes time to learn, it takes time to grow
So be patient and be kind, And
If you ask with ease and grace
All that you seek you will find[/u]

Dust to dust and ash to ash
This too shall pass in the time, and you
Got to trust, yeah you got to trust
Good things coming in time,
and Life Goes On.


And you can count on me to be the one
That's never gonna leave you lonely
Count on me to be the one
That is gonna love you always,
When you're feeling sad and blue
I'll be there to see you through, so
Don't cry no more
I said don't cry, my darling Melanie

True it takes some time for one to refine
The steps upon the path you are leading
The harder the pursuit, it remains the truth
The harder it will be to achieve it

And though you feel like giving up
When the path gets rough
You must be strong, life must go
Don't cry, my darling, don't cry

Dust to dust and ash to ash
This too in time shall pass, and you
Got to trust, yeah you got to trust
Good things coming in time

and Life Goes On



And you can count on me to be the one
That's never gonna leave you lonely
Count on me to be the one
That is gonna love you always,
When you're feeling sad and blue
I'll be there to see you through, so
Don't cry no more
I said don't cry, my darling Melanie.

[Intrepid_traveler]

Give Thanks
by Iya Terra
Well if your lost and alone don't worry cause your already home, And i know its a long long road but i'm ready to go
I found beauty and the balance in between all the highs and the lows, So as long as i can sing my song then i'm ready to go, i'm ready to go

For whatever gonna come my way,
yes i just give thanks, I give thanks
All the struggles and the troubles and the sorrows
yeah i just give thanks, give thanks
Don't worry about tomorrow, your living today, give thanks, you gotta give thanks, its all gonna be okay. we just give thanks, you know we give thanks.


I give thanks for this love that your giving me
My love is like an ocean and i got no worries
I'm sailing through the on under the forbidden sea
Well I've been chasing the sun but its gotten eventually
Wave gets rough and i'm not giving up
This place is not forsaken and your memories are sacred
When life gets tough never stop looking up
Give thanks for this life, my soul

For whatever gonna come my way, yeah i just give thanks, give thanks, All the struggles and the troubles and the sorrows. i just give thanks, give thanks
Don't worry about tomorrow if your living today, give thanks, you gotta give thanks
Yeah. its all gonna be okay. we just give thanks, you know we give thanks

[Intrepid_traveler]

because there is no force strong enough to destroy love
And the more that them push and them pull
The more that they unite us
Love and respect
Iya Terra
That's why it's strictly Love & Respect
Is all that I and I know
So no time for your bad bad vibes when I and I a slide through
Strictly love and respect is all that I and I know
So no time for bad vibes
Open up your mind
Open up your eyes
Open up your soul, you will find love
Just open up your soul


Cause we are sentient beings
Given strength to defend all defenseless beings
So Know yourself and know just what compassion means
Say trod lightly
No need for senseless killing, Oh Jah have mercy
Love & Respect & Mercy

[Intrepid_traveler]

Iya terra - stand strong
Wake up!
We are going to rise with the sun
We haf fi get the day agwon, so early in da morn'
And I take a little draw, give thanks and praises to the most high

I give thanks some dreams never die
We have to keep the dream alive so when the times get hard,
Only the strong shall survive
Alongside the humble and the righteous kind

We say...
We have to stand strong
Have a little faith in love
Cause our time has come!

Positive! People!
Living in a world of confusion
Said we got to reach up to the sky...

Positive! People!
Living in the world
So much confusion
One love, one love

Well I've heard so many things since my time has begun
A student of the Earth until my time is done
And we won't judge no one, we won't judge no one
Never, ever, ever will I judge no one

My brother!
I respect your beliefs
Can't let yourself become your own enemy
Well
It's up to you to make the change
Don't want to be living in vain no more.

We have to stand strong
Give it and you will get love
Because our time has come!

Positive! People!
Living in a world of confusion
Said we got to reach up to that sky..

Positive! People!
Living in the world of
So much confusion




One love, one love

Stand strong...
Stand strong, in love

Stand strong...
Stand strong, in love

[Intrepid_traveler]

As I Walked Out One Evening
W. H. Auden, 1907 - 1973[/u]

As I walked out one evening,
   Walking down Bristol Street,
The crowds upon the pavement
   Were fields of harvest wheat.

And down by the brimming river
   I heard a lover sing
Under an arch of the railway:
   'Love has no ending.

'I'll love you, dear, I'll love you
   Till China and Africa meet,
And the river jumps over the mountain
   And the salmon sing in the street,

'I'll love you till the ocean
   Is folded and hung up to dry
And the seven stars go squawking
   Like geese about the sky.

'The years shall run like rabbits,
   For in my arms I hold
The Flower of the Ages,
   And the first love of the world.'

But all the clocks in the city
   Began to whirr and chime:
'O let not Time deceive you,
   You cannot conquer Time.

'In the burrows of the Nightmare
   Where Justice naked is,
Time watches from the shadow
   And coughs when you would kiss.

'In headaches and in worry
   Vaguely life leaks away,
And Time will have his fancy
   To-morrow or to-day.

'Into many a green valley
   Drifts the appalling snow;
Time breaks the threaded dances
   And the diver's brilliant bow.

'O plunge your hands in water,
   Plunge them in up to the wrist;
Stare, stare in the basin
   And wonder what you've missed.

'The glacier knocks in the cupboard,
   The desert sighs in the bed,
And the crack in the tea-cup opens
   A lane to the land of the dead.

'Where the beggars raffle the banknotes
   And the Giant is enchanting to Jack,
And the Lily-white Boy is a Roarer,
   And Jill goes down on her back.

'O look, look in the mirror,
   O look in your distress:
Life remains a blessing
   Although you cannot bless.

'O stand, stand at the window
   As the tears scald and start;
You shall love your crooked neighbour
   With your crooked heart.'

It was late, late in the evening,
   The lovers they were gone;
The clocks had ceased their chiming,
   And the deep river ran on.

[Intrepid_traveler]

As I Walked Out One Evening by W. H. Auden; 11th stanza
'The glacier knocks in the cupboard,
   The desert sighs in the bed,
And the crack in the tea-cup opens
   A lane to the land of the dead.

This stanza of this poem has always stuck with me, I have always found it to be a deeply psychedelic verse, with deep personal implications and meaning. This excerpt means a lot to me, so I figured I would share, in the process I was reminded at how beautiful this poem is as a whole and felt I had to post the work in it's entirety, however, I also decided to post this excerpt in it's own section and address it's deep personal significance and meaning in relation to myself.