Beyond Bad trip... What I should do to make it better?

[Anonymous]

Hey, please consider this one... I am a newbie to Salvia. I am really into meditation and have been for over a year now and have now fully dedicated myself to become spiritually Awakened one day by meditating everyday and finding all the knowledge to gain this Enlightenment. A lot of crap has happened in my life especially recently... but ok trying to keep this simple and straight up...

I am 17 years old. My personality is probably unlike any other. probably partly due to the fact that I been an on and off pothead since I was about 14... But now I decided to let it all go and quit that crap for good due to the fact of the knowledge I have gained from recently reading "The Navigator" by Eric Pepin, My one and only role model, who is one of the truely awakened spiritual persons on the face of this beautiful planet, and how I got into Meditation by using his foundation Meditation set.

Anyways, the way I think is probably considerably unique... I tend to not let emotions get the better of me. I try to find the simplest ways to do things, and I can learn things fairly fast if I realy want to and commit myself. I like to focus on tackling one task at a time effectively rather than worry about other things even if they are equally important althought I could be fairly good at multi-tasking, as I play the piano. Although I really do enjoy being around people who are honest and open minded, I do feel somewhat uncomfortable around people who are cocky or only live life to get attention or who are very limited to their way of thinking... Although I could deal with it.

I guess the reason I didn't quit smoking weed before, (the only substance I used besides alcohol), Is because where I live, Is so boring, ALOT of people smoke weed. And also due to the fact that weed affects me, or I should say affected me, (since I build up considerable tolerance to the drug) in a way where it was such a desireable feeling and I enjoyed that way of thinking. But now I realize it would only slow my awakening, and although I did take a few big breaks from it, My last one being about 9 or 10 months, It wont ever hit me like it did the first year or 2 due to the nature of me still growing and my brain becoming more developed so to speak.

Anyways, I will get to where im at now... With weed out of me now but still around me, (I say now because I took my final hits today with some friends before I decided to let it go), I am fully commited doing whatever it takes to open my mind In a safe, effective matter...

Another thing that must be noted, is that a part of my brain, seems to constantly wanting to know what is going on or what another person is thinking or feeling if i am around somone. At times, when I least expect it, for like a nano second, I could tap, sort of speak into the other person and I feel what they feel or their personality. I guess due to the fact that I meditate on my mind chaukra... this is uncontrollable for me and I only want to gain more control of it, of course in a responsible manner.

 Oh and I do have De Ja Vu moments and is it is becoming more profound with time and meditation. But it is in a way, again, when I least expect it and it happeneds in a way for me, that by the time I try to analize why I had it, it makes little to no sense to me, which should become revalational with time foward as it probably has something to do with memory. (Weed limits memory)

My first Salvia experience was last night, at a friends house in his bedroom. Boy was it a beyond bad experience. It was with a water-pipe using a normal lighter. Since I got the Salvia at a headshop in Austin, TX, where I visited my sister, who bought it for me, I am not sure of the equalivalent of the "X" potency it is. They were sold in little boxes, and were catergorized by color, starting with green, orange, red, purple, then gold. My guess is that its 10x, 20x, 30x, 40x, 60-80x?... not too sure.

Anyways, they were sold by the half gram. So I told her to buy me the Red and Purple since the man didn't allow us the gold. (Now that I think of it, I am glad of it as I dont think I am ready for it) Which came out to $50.00. Now at this point I am very happy thinking that when I do it, I am going to have an extraordinary trip that will uplift me. So not the case.

Anyways, I waited pateintly for the next few days to do it when I get back home. When I finally arrived I eagerly called a friend and told him of the Salvia I got, so he invited me to spend a night. When we got to his house, we chilled in his room for a good 3 hours before his parent feel asleep and he let me take a shower before we were to light up the Salvia.

Him, wanting to trip already, and Me, not knowing what to expect and getting nervous by the minute before lighting it, (last meditation session was about 15 hours before this and it wasn't the best session) I open the Red box, and get enough for 2 bowls ready. He took the first hit, a casual hit. Then me not knowing if I was ready, finish his bowl, then I pack in the 2nd bowl, and take a huge hit...... (by the way, I hadn't smoked weed about a week before this day)



I Kept it in for a good 15-20 seconds. The next things I know all my senses are gone, and I start to panic. I start getting very confused and disoriented. I remember I was panicing and the trip getting worse by the second. I also remember me trying to make sense of it all as the trip got worse. I Remember feeling a force pulling me down and all I could make out was the little visionary sense I had, but my memory failing even worse at this point. It seemed everything in the room was against me. The unknown force stacked in my mind constantly and made the trip worse making me think that this was the end and there was nothing I could do about it. And the more I tried to just surrender the more paniced I seemed to get. I though this force was going to take me somewhere and I wouldn't be able to return. Then the trip was finally over and only left me with mixed feelings, probably confusion being most the profound... As a came back, All I hear is my friend saying "life is good" I almost felt like crying, but more relieved that it was over. I remember sitting on the chair next to the bed, and I dont remember how i got from the bed to the chair... I was also sweating as if I sprinted a mile. Turns out it all happened in about 8 minutes. To me, I wouldn't know. It felt so long yet so fast... but probably more fast since I didn't remember most of it....

I was so tired and I just wanted to relax and be happy that I am finally back and not think about what happened. So he put a movie and I feel asleep after about 45 minutes... No dream recollections... When we woke up, I demanded to know what happened. and It turns out after I took the hit, I did panic, feel off the bed and I kept slurring "Help" for  5 minutes as I just grab on the edge of the bed from the floor, holding on for dear life. Then I got up and walked around the room feeling the walls and then sat on the chair. I do remember me holding on the bed, but It felt like I was on the other side of the bed he said I was. And I remember everything looking so fake. I was in a cartoon of hell... It was a bad trip for my friend and an extremely bad trip for me...

I dont want that to happen again. I was thinking next time I smoke my salvia with either a different sitter in a difference environment, or by myself in my room with a less hit with complete darkness, and either complete silence or the meditation music with binural technology on my ipod... I know I could have a good trip. And I guess the reason I had that bad trip is because there was someone else in the room. And that part of me that demands to know what is going on magnified and that is why I simply paniced and sweat. And of course my next experience will be after a good meditation session...

[Veracohr]

That's one of the most common mistakes, starting out too large.

Get some plain leaf and take it easy. There's no finishing line you can be the first to reach.

[Anonymous]

true... maybe i should save these extracts and get 5x... but I really dont want to wait days to be able to do that, can I just put a far less amout and hope it will be equivalent to the 5x? Thanks, any help is truely, greatly appretiated...

[laughingwillow]

quote from above: I dont want that to happen again.

SO don't do salvia again.

I agree with the above statement concerning the use of plain leaf.

Btw, no offense, but come back when you are old enough to buy your own junk in the headshop.

lw

[kemp]

Many people find that Salvia just isn't for them.... I am willing to bet you might be one of those people.
To me, Salvia, even at very high doses feels very natural and has never been frightening. DMT is another story altogether though.

If you absolutely can't wait to get just plain leaf (I just don't see what the rush is though), then you could just smoke a very small amount. Seriously though, have you ever thought that you might not be mature enough or ready for it? Don't take that as an insult because it's not meant to be. As a young person, you are going through some tough changes and still trying to make sense of the world. Is this the best time to be skirting the edges of time/space/sanity? Just some food for thought.

Whatever you choose to do, be safe please.

And since you are under 18, please come back when you are a little older. Thanks.

[AllenB]

I would stay away from anything stronger than 25x, all it does is make you passout.  Did I hear you right, you paid $50 for a gram?  what a ripoff

[Amomynous]

I guess the reason I didn't quit smoking weed before, (the only substance I used besides alcohol), Is because where I live, Is so boring, ALOT of people smoke weed.

A little off-topic perhaps, but the first recorded use of the word boring was in Charles Dickens' Bleak House which was published in the 1850's. As far as anyone can tell, boredom didn't really exist in human experience until about the time of the industrial revolution (after all, if it had been experienced it would have had a word associate with it).  

If you're bored, it it probably because you are over-stimulated, not under-stimulated. In modern society people have become desensitized to such an extent that only extreme sensory input has much of an affect on them.

If you want to get over your bordom, consider turning it all off. No TV. No recorded music. No video games, etc. Regain the sensory acuity and sensitivity that is your birthright as a human.

If you do this you may find that your relationship to MJ, meditation, and even Saliva changes profoundly and fundamentally.

Just some thoughts...

[laughingwillow]

Sorry to keep this thread on-topic......

ANyway, after re-reading the initial post I must say that I feel sorry for the author if that experience mentioned is ranked "beyond bad." Christ, I've had worse nightmares in the last two weeks without any assistance from a drug than the scenario above, imo.

lw

[Amomynous]

Sorry to keep this thread on-topic......

ANyway, after re-reading the initial post I must say that I feel sorry for the author if that experience mentioned is ranked "beyond bad." Christ, I've had worse nightmares in the last two weeks without any assistance from a drug than the scenario above, imo.

lw

Yea, but that's because everything in the room is against you!

(BTW, my post actually was on-topic. The reason -- IMO of course, and I could be wrong -- that the OP had this bad experience (or perceived it as bad) is because he has lost connection to himself at a fundamental level, probably through the over-stimulation that is modern society.

And, of course, you can't transcend an ego until you have an ego, and 17 is entirely too young to undertake these things. But in the folly of youth the OP would never accept that fact, so it is useless to say. Now get off my grass punks.)

[laughingwillow]

I agree, amom. And I also agree the op probably isn't able to grasp the concepts you describe above due to age alone.

The first twenty years of psychedelic travel were definitely more difficult for me than the last ten years.  :baby-taptap:

lw

[Amomynous]

I was actually fortunate in that the main thrust of my psychedelic exploration didn't come until I was in my 30's.

Drugs are waisted on the youth!

It probably isn't ientirely coincidental that the people who have been most influential in these things, for better or worse (people like Leary), came to them at about age 40, or at least no younger than 30.

[laughingwillow]

I'm not sure if it matters what age you stumble upon psychedelics, except that under 18 is too young, imo.

How long you stick with psychedelics is a better benchmark, imo. Some participate only in their youth after experimentation at a young age kicks their collective butt.

lw

[Amomynous]

That's a good point.

Given the fact that the states of being to be explored are wide and vast -- the interior universe seems just as large as the exterior -- I can only think of a few reasons why someone would leave:

* Their interest wasn't very deep to begin with (perhaps they were just curious or were participating in peer-group dynamics).

* They found it really didn't help them much or teach lessons in ways that were consonant with who they are.

* They believe they learned it all already (hubris, IMO).

Whenever someone leaves psychedelic I like to speak with them to figure out why. People who experienced them at a young age tend to be in the first group, the largest group. The second group is relatively large too. I've only met a few people who fall into the third category. Those few have been incredible bores, a correlation that I'm tempted to say isn't entirely coincidental.

[laughingwillow]

Right on, amom.

The first group is of little interest, imo.

However, the psychology of that second and third group does interest me a bit......

Fear is what drives most away, imo. That and a lack of knowledge concerning ritual consumption of an active sacrament.

I've come across quite a few in the third group of big egos. These folks appear to be unwilling to take a psychedelic hammer to their self-perception. A subconscious fear of ego dissolution would be my guess as to the underlying cause of their disinterest as well.)

lw

[dendro]

I can understand a psychedelic user leaving it behind if he thought he had found a better way. Like, maybe they get serious about yoga or sumpin else that is working for them.

'Course, I find personally that yoga and psychedelics are compatible, but I can see why some might stop ingesting and just go within.