Praise the Lord, Religious-Dude been healed!

[laughingwillow]

quote from the story below... "He is completely heterosexual," Ralph said. "That is something he discovered. It was the acting- out situations where things took place. It wasn't a constant thing."

I think they mean Ted wasn't constantly horney and jonesing for meth-fueled man-sex. Sometimes he was just hungry or needing to give a good sermon to the congregation... But then that damn horney urge (let's call it "the devil") comes creeping back and whispering its e-vile ways...

lw


http://www.denverpost.com/ci_5164921

Haggard says he's not gay
By Eric Gorski
Denver Post Staff Writer

The Rev. Ted Haggard emerged from three weeks of intensive counseling convinced he is "completely heterosexual" and told an oversight board that his sexual contact with men was limited to his accuser. That is according to one of the disgraced pastor's overseers, who on Monday revealed new details about where Haggard has been and where he is headed.

The Rev. Tim Ralph of Larkspur also said the four-man oversight board strongly urged Haggard to go into secular work instead of Christian ministry if Haggard and his wife follow through on plans to earn master's degrees in psychology.

Haggard broke a three-month silence in e-mails over the weekend to select members of his former church. Senior pastor Ross Parsley forwarded Haggard's message to the wider church body Monday.
In the message, Haggard revealed that he and his wife, Gayle, intend to leave Colorado Springs and pursue master's degrees through online courses.

Haggard mentioned Missouri and Iowa as possible destinations. Another oversight board member, the Rev. Mike Ware of Westminster, said the group recommended the move out of town, and the Haggards agreed.
"This is a good place for Ted," Ware said. "It's hard to heal in Colorado Springs right now. It's like an open wound. He needs to get somewhere he can get the wound healed."

Haggard, 50, resigned as president of the National Association of Evangelicals and was fired from the church he built from nothing into a 14,000-member congregation after a former male prostitute in Denver alleged a three-year cash-for-sex relationship.

Haggard admitted to "sexual immorality" and a long battle against feelings contrary to his beliefs. He admitted buying methamphetamine but said he never used it. Haggard did not respond to interview requests.
Among other things, the overseers urged Haggard to enter a 12-step program for sexual addiction, Ware said.

Ralph said three weeks of counseling at an undisclosed Arizona treatment center helped Haggard immensely and left Haggard sure of one thing.
"He is completely heterosexual," Ralph said. "That is something he discovered. It was the acting- out situations where things took place. It wasn't a constant thing."

Why Haggard chose to act out in that manner is something Haggard and his advisers are trying to discern, Ralph said.

In investigating Haggard's assertion that his extramarital sexual contact was limited to former male escort Mike Jones, the board talked to people close to Haggard and found no evidence contradicting him, Ralph said.
"If we're going to be proved wrong, somebody else is going to come forward, and that usually happens really quickly," he said. "We're into this thing over 90 days, and it hasn't happened."

Steering Haggard away from a return to ministry was based, in part, on Haggard's high profile, Ralph said. He cited biblical passages about holding influential figures to a higher standard. "Nobody is saying he can't go back into ministry," Ralph said. "Somewhere down the road, that could very well happen, and that would be wonderful."

Haggard is being asked to join a church wherever the couple moves and continue the Christian counseling he receives twice a week, Ralph said.
The oversight board that includes Ralph is focusing on New Life Church's future but continues to counsel Haggard.

What has been termed Haggard's "restoration" is being overseen by another panel: H.B. London, who runs a Focus on the Family ministry to pastors, and megachurch pastors Tommy Barnett and Jack Hayford.
London said he was not surprised Haggard was considering the psychological field.

"Many of us that go into the healing, helping professions do so out of some sort of dysfunction or traumatic event in our lives, and we want to do what we can to help other people avoid what we've gone through," he said. "He is certainly gifted and intelligent and has an intuitive side to him. And he has life experience. Those are good credentials."

[TooStonedToType]

I heard he had a relapse after the Prince superbowl halftime show.

[JRL]

Talk about a wardrobe malfunction! Did you catch the sperm fireworks at the end of his set?

[VajraPirate]

I think I missed that.

[laughingwillow]

LOL Heres' the other side of that Princely-coin; Religion, sex, sexy religion, its all goooood.....

http://vegasblog.latimes.com/vegas/2007 ... llic_.html

Prince: Phallic or Religious?

I  can not believe a controversy has erupted over the phallic symbolism of Rio headliner Prince's guitar solo during his Super Bowl Halfime show. There is an AP article outlining the controversy. Let me let you in on a more likely subtle message Prince put into his performance: an explicit nod to his reported Jehovah's Witness faith. Remember the Dylan cover I mentioned yesterday in writing about the halftime show. I neglected to mention the song Prince chose: "All Along the Watchtower." Dylan put that song on John Wesley Harding an acoustic disc thick in religious imagery(the song before it on the disc is "I Dreamed I Saw St. Augustine"). Jimi Hendrix famously heard Dylan's song and decided to record it, and that is the version most people know.

The Hendrix version essentially rewrites the song as an electric explosion capitalizing on but not changing the apocalyptic religious lyrics.  I am not exactly an expert on the Jehovah's Witnesses faith, so forgive any error, but that group's official publication is a magazine called The Watchtower. The magazine's publishing statement reads in part "It (The Watchtower) keeps watch on world events as these fulfill bible prophecy." Prince, by the way, did not sing all of "All Along the Watchtower." Revealingly, in his performance at the Super Bowl, Prince ignored the first two verses of the song Dylan wrote (which don't mention the watchtower anyway) instead coming in with words near the very end of the song: "All along the watchtower, Princes kept the view." Okay, I capitalized "prince." Still, it seems as likely as creating a secret phallic image with his guitar, Prince was instead offering a sly plug acknowledging  his spiritual views in front of 90 million people.

[laughingwillow]

Btw, the wife and I think Prince is the Shizzle. He puts on one heck of a show.

Has anyone else out there caught The Entertainer Formerly Known As A Symbol live?

Fock, if'n anyone is going to hijack this thread, it might as well be me. hahaha

lw

[TooStonedToType]

As an expert on Jehovah Witnesses I was thinking much the same.  

Yea, even though he professes to be some sort of a JW; we all here think he's the sitzizzle as well.

Personally, I don't think his actions are very "witnesslike", but hell, they are changin all the time.

It was not unintentional, the lyrics or imagery, Prince knows what he's doing.  LW has him pegged pretty well for not being an expert.

[JRL]

I wonder if he goes door to door in his bikini briefs??

Prince knows what he's doing, but it didn't look to Witness like to me. I dig a lot of his stuff, but the total package kinda seems a bit crass to me.

Here is what gets me, Larry Graham is the guy that turned him out for the Witnesses. And in this great video of a Prince show they were projecting the Witnesses bible translation title page. (/me is a witness expert)

One thing I found out about the Witnesses is they like music,  had a student that is one, and he talks about huge parties with 10 bands.

Go figure!

[TooStonedToType]

Go figure.

I tired to have a wedding at my house with only six bands and they injunctified my ass!

JW's tend to exaggerate.  I doubt they had more than two real bands - and anyway, we all know all the best bands are affiliated with Satan.

Michael Jackson supposiely went door-to-door, why not Prince?  I think it is almost required ifn' you are to be resurected.

Oh yea, what was this topic about - yea, ted haggard sucks!  and blows!  hahahahahah

[JRL]

But Merle Haggard rocks!

[TooStonedToType]

Hey, what about holy-dude's meth problem?  You know, the one where he steals church funds, where he repeatedly is temped by Satan to buy meth, and then he comes to his senses and flushes it, then buys more, then flushes it, then Satan temps him again...   Is he cured of that?  I hear once you flush meth you can't stop. Its not a like disease or something that can be cured, you know?