your advice please. They want me to cut my hair!

[Avery L. Breath]

So you guys, I could use some advice.  I was just offered today a job after interviewing in Porland with an ambulance company a few weeks back.  It pays alwright with a starting salary of $15.88 an hour, but the hitch is they have a hair length policy.  

Now I've had long hair ever since I started growing it out 19 years ago when I was 14...... have always payed a price for it, but never compromised.... I always loved that no matter how freaky I looked, I could squirrel into peoples hearts...... It's my freak flag man!  Now I seem to be at another crossroad, if I take this job, I'd have to wack it all off....... and it sticks in my craw that I would have to do that, but I'm desperate for work I think....... it's just I've resisted physically fitting myself in a stereotypical box like that, I clean up well reguardless.  Have always stuck to my principles about such things.  My attitude has always been fuck em when it comes to stuff like that.  Am I being stupid or what?  I think I'm going to take the job, I really need the work, but I'd just hate to regret that decision.  I could just throttle the owner of the operation for his narrow minded ways, for even suggesting that as logical policy for his employees.  It's an outdated and sexist framework.  Always thought I'd cut it one day, but more as a sacrifice of worth, a sign of morning a loss of a loved one or something....... not for the almighty dollar.  I still don't know what to do, any idears?

A~

[Avery L. Breath]

It's a non-union shop, I think they can do whatever they want.  No, they don't make women cut theirs though, but rather put it in a pony and stuff it in their shirt.  (edit) and it's an appearance thing, as to why they do it... at least thats their illogical excuse IMO, the owners are old school military family.

This from Oregon civil rights division:

Grooming Standards, Hair Length
Certain employer requirements do not violate fair employment laws even when men and women are treated differently. Different appearance and grooming standards for men and women, especially those involving hair length and facial hair have been upheld by the courts when necessary to the normal operation of the employer´s business and when they do not restrict the employment opportunities for one sex over the other.

Example: As long as it serves a business purpose for the employer, there is nothing discriminatory about requiring that men wear slacks and women wear skirts or dresses to work.

[judih]

Hair and outer appearance seem to make a big difference with many people out there.

It's amazing the attitude change my partner G got when he cut his hair. It was worth it just for the anthropology! People on the street suddenly called him Sir, or asked for directions, or ...Cops didn't stop him for no reason when he was driving. Amazing,Andy.

It's worth it. It's only outer accessories. We are who we are. Hair is not us.
And you will experience a totally different set of reactions from strangers, because people are in general pre-judgemental and biased.

You'll see.

Besides, you'll feel like your crown chakra's getting a new hit of energy.

think buddhist non-attachment.  this is simply a new guise on your path in life.

judih

[Avery L. Breath]

Yeah, thanks for the perspective Judih.  I've decided to take the job for various other very good reasons.  Is just a desire for more comfort in the decision based on the hair stipulation.  As silly as it is, that's been the stickler for me.  I am attached, it's like my radar antana.  Your raise a good suggestion though about how I need to get all buddhist on it.... have thought so myself.  


A~

[judih]

!



a new turn in the road awaits - new set of outer gear

best of luck

judih

[senorsalvia]

So you are going to take the job/bite that bullet eh??  I can surely agree about the Buddhist non-attachment side of the coin but when confronted with the same obstacles;  I reached a different conclusion..  I found myself inwardly realizing that hell,  I really could not work for such narrow minded people for that much time..  I reasoned that say it took me 7 years to get my hair to the length it was...  Did I really want to spend the next 7 years working with "those kind" of people???   On the flip side; a couple of years ago, I was walking past a barber shop, and on a sheer impulsive moment, I went in and had my long locks shorn!!  Judih is correct that people will treat you differently...  I got more receptive looks from the ladies, was treated as 'normal' etc....  But, 'ya know what??  I found myself raging and sneering inwardly at those people...  I mean, I was the same fellow as before, only now, I was treated as one of those shallow poeples peers...  It really gave me a sort of 'complex'..  Was like I was some 'undercover' type person...  I resolved the issue in the way that worked best for me.  I have not shorn my filamentous fibers since, nor do I intend to....  I truly just would rather be me...  If it costs, If it causes some rejection, so be it... Everyone has to work out how much they are willing to compromise...  I just do not see the point of my appearance being of enough concern to someone else, that I should be bothered with accomodating their silly notion of the 'right' way to look....  Congrats on the J O B though!!!  I know you've put alot of effeor into your training....  Now, go out there and ressuccitate some long haired soul...  Gotta keep flyin' that flag 'ya know ------------  sal

[judih]

well, truth is that for a woman, long or short doesn't really matter as long as the look is within the realms of clean and non-combattive.

But clothes.......i recall once flying from israel to amsterdam to toronto.
Israel to amsterdam, i wore loose cotton slacks and a sleeveless tank. Once in the amsterdam airport, i hit the bathroom, did some fast t'ai chi stretches and balances, changed into a suit, pulled my long hair up with a clip and left. Instant whoopee. I was ma'am. I was the one 'to ask'.
All appearance.

Every actor knows how costume alters outer perception and inner gymnastics.

If life offers us the freedom to wear our first choice of hair and dress then it's cool. If we have to alter our appearance to work the room, then that's what we have to do.

It's good to be able to do either.
My hair's been growing now since, hmmmm, for 10 years, i guess. i like it long - it feels less 'fashionable' and more earthy. So far, no one says anything to my face about cutting it to look however they feel i should look.

A few people have commented that women should dye their hair when they start to go grey. i don't buy into that trap. i am who i am.

Yet, tomorrow, i could decide to go bright orange - who knows...

sal, any pictures?
andy?

may the hair thing be the only compromise you'll be making. Working with the heart requires committment to yourself.

[test_subject421]

Well i agree with judih and his view on this and my opinoin wold basicly repeat him but anyways.....
i bet you have had training or schooling for this job and think about how much time you may have devoted to a job in this feild think if its woth it to cut your hair and i agree with think about working with thoz people....but think about if you will be led to new chances in the feild or who knows what

and also your location says idaho portland is a ways from idaho....is it worth the time&effort of moving or a LONG commute?

anyways just my personal views dont take them for to much its just 1 out of 1,000,000,000,000 or how ever many people are on this planet these days.......

and remember its just your shell or costume or whatever

PEACE


P.S  check out the columbia river gorge its awesome out there some sweet geological formations and i love the landscape (i have a house out there i love it! one of the best places i have (do) live)

[senorsalvia]

Hey Judih, here's an observation for 'ya....  I used to have this 'significant other' that was a truly heavy MJ user...  (as in a 1/4 of high-test hydo daily)  One day I remarked to her that the women had it easier than us men as far as the hair thing went...  At first, she disagreed, said women were always judged/percieved by outward appearances first, then on their merits...  I countered by pointing out that barring something like a gal shaving her head, all a gal needed to do was 'dress the part' , and she'd be able to 'pass'...  A guy can dress in a suit, wear a tie, put on a Rolex and gold cufflinks, but if'n he's a long hair, well there goes the neighboorhood as far as some are concerned....  My lady thought about it for a while and then she admitted that I might be right about the hair deal. because as long as she used a few drops of Murine to kill her pot-redeye, then depending on her dressing up or down, she could in fact 'pass' as a straight business type or whatever else she was attempting to project..............   Ah, perceptions, perceptions------  sal

[Avery L. Breath]

Well, I can certainly appreciate the many facets of all this.  

Yah know it's funny, as I recall I lost my last real job around 6 years ago on principle as well..... is rather ironic... and they had no problem with my hair length and payed a whole hell of alot better even if it was a lousy desk job.  

Just what the hell is principle anyways? Who has not compromised on a principle at least once in their lifetime.  How else it their to learn how important they are?

[JRL]

Maybe it's because I live in California, but had I no idea hair length was such an issue. It sure was 40 years ago when my brother got jumped the high school lunchroom by some football players with siccors and he lost some of his just longer than Beatle hair.

Out here it's all good, you almost have to have ink and piercings to work behind the counter in a lot of places.

Avery, I love ya for the freak flag, but it really seems a non-issue to me in this century. Long hair used to be a cry for freedom, now it's barely a fashion statement. (JRL has not had a haircut in 12 years, but it ain't no thing with his job).

Compared to a big step forward your chosen profession................

[neonaut]

I would cut it myself.  I have long hair but just cut it ear length.  Its just dead cells.  But I also have been told I have "model" hair.  I have gotten shit for long hair here in CA though, jrl.

[Stonehenge]

There is a third option. Simply buy a wig. A wig can make it look like you have short hair. Even if you have a lot of hair it should be possible to cram it under a wig. Might not be comfortable, I don't know.

[senorsalvia]

Growing up in a redneck midwestern burg of 5,ooo souls;  I can attest to hair being a big issue(*back in 'da day)   Matter 'o fact;  I came back from a year in Cali. and was amazed that my old high school was kicking out kids, etc, about hair and dress issues...   I organized a demonstration/walkout at the school.  found a lawyer that sued the school for 100K a student that had been denied due process/rights etc....   End result was a one day shutdown of the school, and no more "dress code" laid on the students......  'Course,,,,   that put me on the proverbial 'watch list,' and I was busted holding large, not long after.... :wink: ====  sal

[senorsalvia]

I must confess something here....   :oops: ----  In 1970, I cut my hair once to cop a job, and did, in fact wear a long hair wig to "be a cool person"......  Jeez, ...........  Now c'mon fess up everyone!!  Don't tell me I'm the only one here that was that wierd ===  sal