Learning thru another’s perspective (for Royce)

[subversal]

Since the last time we spoke
I'd forgotten what to believe
and forgot what I was
inhaled smoke quickly fixing
my lack of inner fortitude
my lack of recognizing

Realizing our separation was a defeat
and I blamed you
blamed your cowardice
paranoia
righteousness

A chemical club you refused to join
as you saw my mind closing in on the edge
whether I flew or fell
you weren't going to see it through
you ran away
waiting one day to confront what was left

So, now you have come back
faced with an empty shell
a new beast emerged

Was my explanation a cop out?
or did my substance whoring force an amnesis?

I am now here to listen
to all I've forgotten, truly
not knowing what it was I was supposed to bring back
to this reunion
except your memory in my heart

[judih]

life spirals on
opening, widening
bringing old understandings into new light

a new day, a new chance