January 28, 2005
11:26 a.m.
Seattle, WA
in the old Spiritplants forums, i posted a series of online travel journals, which covered a period of several years...those journals now appear to be lost with the rest of the SPF archives...as a gesture to our new site here, i am going to inaugurate a new journal here...i haven't been traveling much, and so i'm turning the theme to living out on the american west coast...i wanted to live out here for many many years, coming originally from the other side of the continent...the first time i came out here to live, it didn't work out very well, but in april of last year, about when i turned 40, i came out again and so far doing better...i have a home with my girlfriend, and work, and we had the pleasure of going to burning man last august in nevada...but there's more here than i have yet found, what brought me here by years-long wishes, i don't know yet...i wish to know...
February 2, 2005
12:15 p.m.
Seattle, WA
jobhunting is truly a frustrating affair...i've been bookselling for many months now, eager to move back into my field of work, editing, but though i send out many resumes every week i rarely get replies...i have the graduate degrees and the many years of work experience, but that only shows how hard it is to get good work no matter how qualified one is...i keep trying, no matter what, resume after resume...this note a complaint but also to reassure those trying too that it is not you, it is a fucked up economy where even good people wanting to do good work are frustrated and stuck...don't give up...a break will occur...the job i have now isn't much but it keeps me and my beloved going, as does her not-much job...don't give up...
February 6, 2005
1:29 p.m.
Seattle, WA
KD is back at her family's home in the midwest, getting an operation on her knee, gone for about a week more...strange to suddenly be without her company, christmas was expected, this just came up...she was in an accident some years ago, and her knee has bothered her since...went out on her at work, we were all day at an emergency room, and now she's going to where she can get the operation done, covered by insurance...
one's shared space with someone else always bears the mark of that person...our home is pretty small, a studio they call it, heh...
so off into the city journeying to find what may be out there to be found...wondering if anything can ever be understood, if people are not only strangers to all the other creatures on the planet but as profoundly to each other...does shared culture and language mask a fundamental chasm that cannot be crossed? rhetorical junk...eh...
February 15, 2005
4:35 p.m.
Seattle, WA
my beloved KD will be back tomorrow afternoon, her knee surgery went well, though she is in the pained time of recovery still...i will be glad to have her back, i've missed her very much...
today an email from the univ of washington regarding an editor's job there...so i dug up newspaper articles i wrote last year, and resume, and wrote out a cover letter, and mailing the whole thing today...keep knocking at the door til someone happens by to answer it...
also researching arts grants funding...must be some way to turn what i love to do, writing/edting, into full time paid work...the jobs just aren't out there too much, so one has to figure where the money is, and chase it...i'm going to do it straight up though...somewhere there is a situation just needing me, and i am trying to find it...
February 24, 2005
11:26 p.m.
Seattle, WA
lately my memories turn more and more to my winter 2002-2003 living in a rooming house in portland, oregon, chasing after a romantic dream that came to little but pain and humility...yet my mind has opened me up to other things occurring in that time...how i'd finally moved out west as i'd dreamed of for years...how for awhile i was keeping my life afloat without any nearby support, living in a very pretty and interesting city, it was hard days, i spent most of them jobhunting or working low paying jobs...yet the night came and i was deep in books, music, my notebooks...something good going on then i've only now begun to consider since the pain of the romance has much faded...it's like i'm meeting myself then, the one i didn't know i was...strange, but inspiring in ways still mostly not understood...
March 11, 2005
12:02 p.m.
Seattle, WA
i got a call the other night from a local tech college, needed a part time english instructor in a hurry, had one bail on them, so i gamely went the distance to see them, and was bandied about among oh-so-busy academics and paperwork...end result was a strange little call promising to keep my info on hand and that i should call them in may...yah...jobhunting in such a morally debilitating thing...then there is this meeting at the bookstore i work at...mandatory, but none of the bosses were saying what it was for...speculation among the grunts was it had to do with big construction across the street and our store shutting down as part of that...i'll know in about two hours...to go from feeling i was going to get a decent job to now i may not even have the crap one KD and i have been in part living on all these months...what a world...
March 12, 2005
7:26 p.m.
Seattle, WA
the bookstore i work at, been at for nearly 10 months, is closing, not because it's not making great gobs of money but because the store rent is too high...everyone is losing his or her job...as of july...shock, rage, helplessness...nearing a day later and still not recovering or OK...four months to get a new job, but indeed that long and no longer...i've been laid off three times in the past four years...it never gets to be usual or fair, or even comprehensible...
four months...hmmm, burning man time.
who knows what the universe has in store
don't despair.
forge on
March 24, 2005
10:02 a.m.
Seattle, WA
a job i've been chasing all week still stands undecided, and i feel very frustrated about it...i want to write here floridly about it but more i just don't want to think about it at all...i hope that when the decision is made it will be based on most qualifications, but fear that the person chosen will most resemble the persons choosing...
some lesson in this but i don't know what it is...except maybe to keep one's groove calm until actual reason to be excited...i let myself get very very hopeful because i needed to believe that something good was about to happen...
back to the mines...i know not else to do...
April 10, 2005
9:31 a.m.
Seattle, WA
the past few weeks have been fanatically devoted to jobhunting...and so near to success...but three possibilities fell through...frustrating beyond belief to have to sweet talk strangers who can, with a smile and a nod, decide yea come on or nay good luck with your future endeavors...and then get coffee and forget you exist...hard not to give into this frustration and yet i put things in perspective almost as a desperate act...some lack health, safe home, loved ones, any kind of job...someone is always suffering more right now...this brings comfort and anger that it should be so...what is it about humans that we can turn toward or away from our fellows with such seeming ease? i don't know...so, anyway, a few days of anger and feeling low and monday jump in again with the smile and the servitude...hire me, i'll lick it, hire me i'll kiss it, hire me, i'll make you feel good and tall and glad...just fucking hire me...
um, still angry, i suppose
:twisted:
April 23, 2005
Sureshot Cafe
University District
Seattle, WA
i scored work, scored work, scored work! doing editing, money at last something decent after a year of retail's slave pennies...it starts monday, and today is my last at bookstore...i am wearing my bright crimson leaved last day at bookstore shirt hehe...brand new...
feeling a year into being back here like it's working, like i'm doing right by KD and my art, like maybe i am not going to fuck it up this time...
seattle is cool if one is into the art thing and it starts to work...i was wondering if i would ever get that far...beginning to :)
april 29, 2005
7:40 a.m.
seattle, washington
finishing up week a new job, editing work at a large website located in the Seattle area...it's going well, this dip back into the corporate world...people are polite if not friendly, and i'm more self-assured as a person to keep focussed on why i am there, which is not to make buddies, but to do the work and earn money toward what KD and i are wanting...art, more art, life of art, love made of art...
yesterday was my birthday, it was a good one from the beginning, i walked out of the bathroom and there was KD with this beautiful collage she had made for me, pictures of us and colored-in photos and free-drawn pics and sparkly bits...i was stunned, what a beautiful surprise...i was happy all day at work, happy that night as we sat at my favorite punk dive coffeehouse...love gestates happiness when it's good :)
how to bloom good fortune long and share it wide...such is the underlying task of these days...
Great to hear all id lookin so bright Ray..... Happy B-day BTW :) --senorsal
Happy Yesterday Birthday, Ray.
i knew April 28th was famous in my memory.
may the year be embarrassingly full of joy and good experience.
judih
Happy Birthday Ray, mine passed too with a bit of optimism shining through the clouds on a country going in the crapper.
Well nothing left to do but smoke smoke smile.
As always, I fiddle while Rome burns.
Your buddy,
Joe
Thank you and leave it on
Wow cenny, you and I share a birthday!
We also share a birthday with Saddam Hussein, ex-president James Monroe, Harper Lee, Karl Kraus, Jay Leno, Penelope Cruz, Jessica Alba, Ann Margaret, Edward IV, and Andrew Jackson (Smith).
Of course, our birth date is also the death date of quite a few individuals, most notably William E. Colby (director of CIA 73-76), "Festus" from Gunsmoke (Ken Curtis), and Anton Pancake - who was some kind of astronomer and Marxist.
Happy Birthday, us!
http://www.anydayinhistory.com/ (http://www.anydayinhistory.com/)
may 20, 2005
3:34 pm
expedia
seattle, washington
first time i've written from this job, strange to be doing so, about to get on a plane with KD to fly to the midwest to meet her family...i don't like planes, and i've had bad luck meeting lover's kin before, but none of that will slow me from going...four days off from work, a month here, finally a paycheck for it in mailbox tonight i believe...
job is dull but stressful in a bureaucratic get it right kind of way...at least i have an office space to myself, no cublicles here! heh...and i work at it steady and find that i have minutes here and there to read the news, or send an email, or post a poem, mostly though it's a full day and tired when done...
thinking of many things that a steady paycheck allows, mostly of traveling on weekends around the northwest and going to burning man, the oregon country fair, the portland zine fest, all for bringing books and magazines published by my scriptor press...there must be some way to connect with the deep counter culture of the west coast...have to get out there and let a yell off...hehe...
almost sounds like another world - office, planes, paychecks.
A linear bridge over chaotic waves.
what will be waiting on the other side?
walked so far, been so long coming,
you're up for this and more
may 21, 2005
10:06 a.m.
seattle-tacoma airport
seattle, washington
on our way to denver airport, bound for meeting KD's kinfolk, and her brother's high school graduation...sea-tac airport is pretty of shiny shops, including a borders, i went in and said hello to ex-colleagues, strange to be in a borders first time since leaving their employ...
nothing deep to say this morning, first entry in the travel journal that involves actual travel, heh...i'm not wild about planes, but first time having a companion on one, and an excellent one...
airports, eh :P
12:05 p.m.
portland airport
portland, oregon
short flight on small plane, bumpity bumpity, KD was watching the propellers and and looking at me with big blue eyes, hehe...i haven't been to this airport before, but was happy to see the MAX light rail that runs to portland, not seen in since 2002, memories can be tapped and light up from all many of things, it seems...the next plane will be a larger size, this last one was called a 'bombadier'...didn't fly very high, the green green of oregon lovely visible most of the time...getting there....
june 6, 2005
12:00 p.m.
work
seattle, washington
the days lately have been run through with dramas...getting KD through her last quarter of school year, many papers, lots of editing help needed, finished finally and all good...like being back in college in a way, but better...this summer she takes a class that culminates in a forest retreat...that could be a lot of fun...
work goes alright, pressures of a corporate environment, monetary rewards of one too...i just trudge through day and make most of nights and weekends...
burning man 2005 draws near, readying new books, editing stage right now...applied for grant money from a new BM funding group called BORG2...waiting on that...selection process done by vote...strange, but i think good way to do it...
back to the wheel :P
june 28, 2005
2:54 p.m.
work
seattle, washington
well, all that chasing after funding money did not yield very much, though i have made many more acqaintances along the way than usual and our bookstore will have a higher profile this year, even to the possibility of collaborating with the live performers in center camp...meanwhile, the work of editing the new books goes on, and will for awhile...
kd and i are looking to get married twice in the fall, once in her family's town in the midwest, once in my family's town in the east...once catholic wedding for her kin, one civil one for mine...i think they all will appreciate this more than we really do, since we live married already and have for a long while...and children? hm, not for awhile...that fundamental shift in life's reality, not yet...
my contract job is going to go full-time, it's been posted, i am in the process of applying for it, and don't know if it will be easy to obtain or not...i'm hopeful, no choice but to be, that a very hard job with a long period of training for it will not go to someone else who would have to start at the beginning, where i did two months ago...hopeful, but the world is a strange place...moments of angel and demon...
i suppose that's all for now, nothing profound here...prosaic news, perhaps something greater next time...
getting married, applying for a job, possibility of children.
hmmm.
sounds like a turning point to me.
Out of the ordinary comes the extraordinary.
best to you -
ju
july 4, 2005
1:02 a.m.
some budget hotel
boise, idaho
kd and i fetched her car from her family's home in the midwest, drove 900 miles today to get this far, passed brush fires, some kind of creepy disney-like resort in the middle of the sticks called little america that advertised about 400 miles before you get to it, a lavender gorgeous sunset and, lost in boise, a mcdonald's drive-thru run by a lunatic boy announcing to each customer his lawsuit against mcdonald's...he's got lawyers...heh...anyway, free wi-fi at this budget hotel, so why not post something here for a laugh...heh...lotta miles to go...happy 4th ;)
Little America, truck stop as tourist attraction. I miss the road.........
:lol: --- That guy (lunatic at Mickey D's) sounds like my kinda folks :wink: --------- Have a great journey Ray---------- senorsal
august 3, 2005
4:29 p.m.
home
seattle, washington
this morning i was told that i'd been laid off, not for any reason of competence but more from the tangled and fucked-up corporate world in which i'd found myself deeply lost and financially dependent...so now jobless but i do not have to go back to that sick puppy place...how life grants gifts roughly...and on we go...
august 9, 2005
12:29 p.m.
home
seattle, washington
near a week since i was tossed out and i've been jobhunting with no success yet...it's hard as fuck to do this, to not know what this time, will it be better, worse, how long will it take? losing a job stops your dead in your path...nothing proceeds as it was...
so put the best energy to it and keep along this hard run...no choice, society little tolerates the man with empty pockets...and i have a woman who believes in me that i simply cannot let down...
if only for those reasons keep along...also i think some self-confidence to restore...
yeah. Crank up the confidence. Remember that job - you were compromising your ideals for the corporate paycheck. Nice, pleasant, but how long can a poet ignore the poet within in order to blend with the beige furniture?
Something better, more interesting, more 'you' will come along.
for sure.
j
august 10, 2005
7:20 a.m.
seattle public library-downtown
seattle, washington
yesterday i was at my favorite punkdive coffeehouse in seattle, using their free wi-fi to jobhunt on KD's laptap, when i got a message about a job...contract editing gig, a good one if i can haul it in...i have a screening today at the job agency that called me, and then an interview if that goes well...so off with the gruffy look and on with the tie...
if i score it i will have to scale back the number of days at burning man this year, but we will still go, and we'll have an income to return to...hope comes and goes, it seems...i'm going to do all i can to get this position and back on horse better this time...wish me well...
2:37 p.m.
seattle public library
seattle, washington
job screening with job agency went ok, no actual interview set up yet though...and a call from another place with another job possibility...on it goes...writing from library like old jobless days...hehe...and my hour 'net time is done ;)
august 11, 2005
4:52 p.m.
elliott bay books
seattle, washington
i've been hired for a tech writer contract, two month job, might go longer, starting a week from monday...GREAT FUCKING LUCK :)
our trip to BM will have to be shorter in order to accomodate the new job but it should work out OK, they said no problem...
never come here with laptop before, pretty cool that this city is so hooked up to wireless net...and i'll be working at a system involved with wireless communications...eh :twisted:
good news. and sounds like an interesting 2 months will be ahead.
so glad to hear, ray
judih
august 17, 2005
8:23 a.m.
home
Seattle, Washington
job is delayed til the 29th, then the 31st KD & I leave for burning man, finally...the books for our bookstore project are getting made, big ass project, bigger every year...there were some other job lures recently, but thinking on it decided to go with the one in hand and hope it goes well...smaller company than i've been with in awhile...i think smaller still would be better eventually...
what of other than me and yawpings of the daily crawl...i read for news of the lady in texas and her growing protest near the King's retreat...a brave soul, and nothing in her of the hustler or the politician, if those words don't mean the same thing exactly, nearly do...
i think the King's power is waning, as all kings do, but he is nuts like they all are after awhile on the throne, so who knows what button he might push as he sees his time lording the world ending...
eh...
august 30, 2005
10:31 a.m.
work
Kirkland, Washington
new, better contract job, second day, i am hoping it's going to be better, editing work, looks alright...
leaving for Burning Man fest in hours, it will be about 14 hours on the road to get there tomorrow...hard to believe it is happening *now*...and the ache to join in...
our free bookstore is pretty much ready, packed, tents, food, water, glowsticks...last few details, and onto the path to the desert...
my seventh time and i do not know what to expect, just the hope that it will be like returning home as it has been...bigger, better, good, happy, going :)
enjoy yourselves. It sounds like there's gonna be lots to do within the general revelry high of the BM experience.
don't forget to write!
september 26, 2005
9:12 a.m.
work
Kirkland, Washington
a month since this journal updated...burning man 2005 was intense, they all are...we gifted out about 1000 books during the day, and rode around the city at night...one night i saw a great unicorn fashioned from playa earth rising from the ground...the burn was great, we saw it up front, marvelled at the fire dancers, and took our wedding vows as the sparks of the burned Man flew overhead...met a guy named Charles from UK, lives near Stonehenge, told us they open it up once a year on summer solstice and all manner of freaks show up to celebrate...
just a challenging is the day to day go since, up at 6 a.m. each day, KD back at classes soon...last weekend we saw "Batman Begins" which is a trippy dark movie...
last weekend 300,000 people marched on Washington DC against the war...can the people help stop another illegal American war? are we that brave and determined? the autumn to come is going to be rough for all...
october 11, 2005
8:06 a.m.
work
Kirkland, Washington
still here, been about a month and a half now, no sure prospects of how long though, so been jobhunting daily of recent days...KD has a rare disorder called multiple sclerosis, one whose daily med costs a fortune, and very hard to get insurance to cover it, but we are working on it, one learns the deep particulars of love along the way...this morning i looked at her before leaving, hair down, dressed lovely in long dark clothes, and felt helpless smiling love...MS is unpredictable, and with med can be lived with OK...so she isn't going to pass on any time soon or anything like that...but pain flares, and worry, and wish for the better days, and when they come love them like colored glass singing...
Ray so sorry to hear. MS is not that rare, I have a niece with it and my comrade Big Bob's wife has it.
One of the best things she has found to help her live with it is good old cannabis.
Im so sorry to hear that cenny. Here's wishing long love filled happiness and health for you both!
Blessings
OBODAOUR
october 17, 2005
11:35 a.m.
work
Kirkland, Washington
last week I had a phone interview with microsoft, it went ok but job sounds kind of dubious...told the job, a techie thing, will be replaced by automation in a few weeks...is this attractive? ha...this week two more interviews, one for a college prof job teaching editing, another doing tech editing, sounds pretty good...on it goes...look and look and look...shuck, jive, dance the dance, kiss the ass, smile, say thank ye, onto the next...heh...
Quoteshuck, jive, dance the dance, kiss the ass, smile, say thank ye, onto the next...heh
this goes into the quote barrel.
a good one - perfect for any impromptu open mic situation, with or without choreography.
best to you both, R and KD.
judih
october 21, 2005
3:20 p.m.
work
Kirkland, Washington
two more interviews yesterday, one a tech editor position, one teaching an editing class at a college extension program...more possibilities kicking around...eh...current job looks to be ending in the next week or so, maybe...how corporate middle management drones can leave the proles hanging on...
watching the events in the Empire's capitol, the chance that some of the high holy scumfucks might be getting the chains & cages they deserve...it's happenly slowly...
time to off the workweek & get along...hehe...
october 24, 2005
8:41 a.m.
work
Kirkland, Washington
so, another last week of work come around, what next, dunno, the dull panic caused by threat of lost income, and here i sit in this job ending, here i sit, ready to move on, nowhere to move onto yet, it never ends, this shamble from shill to shill, from shuck to jive, always ass high for the boss-man's casual kick...yet whoosh there goes another email with resume off begging and ring ring please mistah boss man hire me suh i's do a good job i'd tell ya...
grafitti on a closed business in seattle:
WORK IS SLAVERY
amen...
october 25, 2005
7:54 a.m.
work
Kirkland, Washington
first day of final workweek here turned up no new jobs, i hustled & limped along it, trying to make good of the hours, such struggling hours the ones most in need of cherish...and there is a stubbornness in me that refuses to let this again fucking nearing jobless situation drown me...i feel the heaviness, the pull of the waters below, and my arms tire and numb, but the thing that drives me in this world is never FUCKING ever give into the bastards who have no stake in my survival or demise...it's a thought i travel with often...when young, i worried what strangers saw when they looked at me, what they thought, now i could not care less...i've seen how pathetic and embarrassing even the best of persons are at one hour or another...none of us can avoid our crouch shitting over the bowl, or our times of lowness...
i just need a fucking job...the try goes on today...
october 31, 2005
11:13 a.m.
work
Kirkland, Washington
last day of work, job ends on a monday oddly, i don't feel motivated to do anything, i feel angry that i came, did good work, now seeya don't let the door hit you on the ass...there are days that just don't bear much hope about them...just a feeling of doggedness, or what i called persistence bitch...here goes, another one, make it better than it should be...
november 1, 2005
6:31 p.m.
seattle public library
seattle, washington
job hunting began fully today, long time at a job agency, no bites yet, keep along...
later library reading at length a book called 'revolution in the head' about the '60s, the beatles, LSD, counterculture...goes over each beatles song at length...
watching their development, song by song, influence by influence, and thinking dead ends are for ideas not people, not artists who are committed on every level to their work...
i'd rather drool ink onto a page if that's all i had left than stop...sometimes the beatles hit walls, sometimes they found ways through them, sometimes they went in other directions...
what lacking is enough...live influence...i've known that for a long time..and not sure how to resolve it...but if not out there then i'll dig deeper inside and find it...it's there...long as my mind is working, and can do things like job hunt, then the deeper shit is somewhere too...
discipline is the key to gift's great songs...i believe that like i believe little else...
into the evening now on my beloved old bike...
november 14, 2005
4:03 p.m.
red line cafe
seattle, washington
two weeks of it now, and leads but no luck...interview tomorrow at 11...last friday there was a flurry of action, but nothing yet today...the jobless work on a tighter, more desparate timeline than most employers and even those with jobs who are looking...KD & I leave for the east coast in a week...i SO want to get something to start for when we get back...it's funny how a situation such as this, or an illness, or some other crisis, can really draw a person's mind back from the furthest reaches...most of daylight is spent in the perpetual sense of wanting to resolve...today, tomorrow? An hour from now? How long must it go on, and what is next?
november 17, 2005
9:12 a.m.
home
seattle, washington
interview with two guys at company the other day, went well, but the usual handshake and we'll be in touch...i think i would have blown them both for a simple 'you're hired'...yah, i'm getting worn down by this...i have 9 maybes going, and this morning sent out another 10 resumes before i'd had breakfast...yet there is no choice, the next step and the next step and the next step...recruiters do what they can, but they have a lot of beggars at their doors and only so much gruel to hand out...so i harass them every day, nicely, charmingly, but persistently...when i get work, they get their piece...simple as that...another day...on it goes...i'd like to me today not just another day though...who knows how soon the last one and days like this remembered from a different view? i don't think lack of appreciation is the way to travel...even when it's tough there is something good near to hand...there's worse to be considered, but also better too...
november 20, 2005
5:03 p.m.
home
seattle, washington
late friday afternoon, when i'd given up on the week's jobhunting being a success, call came offering a 4-6 week editing job...so i have one in hand, and two full-time ones are pending...it's sticky trying to negotiate this...but I HAVE A FUCKING JOB FOR DECEMBER :twisted: & am very grateful for this, whatever coming complications or none...
now off to East Coast US to see my kinfolk & introduce them to KD...i don't wish to make this journal into some kind of mundane diary blahg so a bit more here...
the War goes badly and the idiots in DC are finally seeing that...or acting on what they've seen all along...their poll numbers suck, the little King is a liability to be seen to near...the poor & vulnerable in this country are ever more at the whim of power rats who don't give a fuck & don't even pretend to...
we have few real heroes to look toward in this country to inspire us...but i'm hopeful they will emerge...Cindy Sheehan, Patrick Fitzgerald so far...more will come out...the social climate, bad as it may seem, may change as more speak truth to power...so i hang in and keep working for better days and urge others on too...
got a plane to catch tonight ;)
good news
good trip
good to hear before you fly
best to you
(best to all)
november 22, 2005
12:45 a.m.
friend's home
west hartford, connecticut
jobhunting, ha, those two jobs said luv ya, come back soon, we talk some more...maybe i will from necessity but a secret fuck-you to all employers who keep people interviewed hanging on the line for days...
overnight flight to my old home state, brought KD to see kin, they gushed & smiled over her...it was kind of fun to see...new blood invigorates old habit family gatherings...
tonight hung out with my friend J watching football like the old days, sans beers, heh...KD fell asleep after dinner...
so i know better what i have to do...use month of work/pay to get that better job that has eluded me for awhile...
reading the news of Empire's little king's freefall, laffing & laffing & laffing...
then stopping, & as my friend J told me, thinking about the ugliness in the world he caused, and the long time it will take to clean up...
november 22, 2005
12:45 a.m.
friend's home
west hartford, connecticut
jobhunting, ha, those two jobs said luv ya, come back soon, we talk some more...maybe i will from necessity but a secret fuck-you to all employers who keep people interviewed hanging on the line for days...
overnight flight to my old home state, brought KD to see kin, they gushed & smiled over her...it was kind of fun to see...new blood invigorates old habit family gatherings...
tonight hung out with my friend J watching football like the old days, sans beers, heh...KD fell asleep after dinner...
so i know better what i have to do...use month of work/pay to get that better job that has eluded me for awhile...
reading the news of Empire's little king's freefall, laffing & laffing & laffing...
then stopping, & as my friend J told me, thinking about the ugliness in the world he caused, and the long time it will take to clean up...
november 24, 2005
7:57 p.m.
friend's home
west hartford, connecticut
job recruiter calls, my job has been cancelled, their client decided they had too many people on the project, & i was canned...before starting or meeting anyone or earning a dollar...
KD met my family today & we chose to not say anything...let them have their fun & celebration with us without the stress of our real world struggle right now...mercy in some direction...
it was fun, & now to seattle to engage the battle, unexpectedly, anew...
family, there are not easy words to speak...
december 1, 2005
8:52 a.m.
home
seattle, washington
i have an phone interview on friday, and one next tuesday, the new month begins for me with the hope that all new months begin...here's a chance to hit it right from the first note, and play it well and high all the way through...i've been working on the next issue of the cenacle, nearly done, keeps me calm during the long jobhunting day...lot of photos in it among the text, photos photoshopped for effect...closest i can get to being a visual artist, just as DJ'ing and mixing is the closest i get to being a musician...
the news these days is protracted & nearly all bad...promises nobody believes for better days nobody really awaits...it's like there's this feeling that as long as bush is in office and in control things cannot get better...few believe in his sincerity, his empathy, his intelligence, his autonomy of thought...he's the sad puppet some of us always knew he was...
but these are dangerous days, too, as long as his cabal remains in power & can affect things...laying back is a bad idea, and should not be considered an option...
back to it, jobhunting try...on knees ready to suck or being sucked for the sucking fucking evil dollar...that pretty much sums it...
december 7, 2005
4:53 p.m.
central library downtown
seattle, washington
just come from my second in-person interview this week, both editor positions, and waiting on scheduling a third one...travel long by bus, do the shuck and jive, come out with no answer, and then the days pass without a phone call or email regarding the position chased...frustrating in a way that cannot be conveyed, but ok, there it is...nothing more to speak of right now, just moving slow with disheartenment...
hope too...yes, indeed, hope too...the irrational secret weapon...
december 8, 2005
9:23 a.m.
home
seattle, washington
had an interview in redmond, home of Microsoft, yesterday, and it went well, going back to the same place this morning for another one, here's hoping the worm is turning at last...so fucking close...
nearly didn't make interview, woke up late, alarm didn't go off, so went later, then, along the way, asking a bus driver where my next bus was, she told me wrong, i was lucky someone else knew and the bus was late...
the bus driver who told me wrong was wearing a reindeer antler fuzzy hat...should've warned me, hehe...
so get this, phone call from the job i was going to, apparently i'm hired but i have to meet with more people to sign off on it...hm...eh? yah, i think so...but no meeting possible til early january...
so i think i have a job...whoohoo? heh...
yeah!
december 8, 2005 (continued)
3:06 p.m.
home
seattle, washington
the day has been intense...first a likely job, then the other one i interviewed for today came through with a definite offer, yes, now, I GOT IT!!!! NO MORE JOBHUNTING FOR AWHILE :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
december 23, 2005
4:07 p.m.
home
seattle, washington
job started this week, training, setting up computer, getting used to biking to downtown seattle in rush hour traffic, a week of hands-on training in Chicago in a couple of weeks, love that city not seen it in a decade, cool way to return...
KD has gone to kinfolk town midwest where we will marry...to get things ready and relax...so i have a stretch of days til tuesday to work, get writing and publishing done, and think about what it means to marry, as if i could say yet...
but a long weekend of work...best bachelor party i would want...given that most of my long time friends are far or gone their own ways...
december 27, 2005
6:30 p.m.
home
seattle, washington
likely last post of the year, maybe closing off this volume too, not sure..it told its tale, so yah, i think this entry is it...saturday night & last night both spent on bike & bus in the city, riding in the rain...saturday's ride was sentimental, saw the big lit xmas tree in downtown like last year, then traveled to my old neighborhood from 2002, to look around & remember...then found a couple of all night joints to write in & saw in Xmas morning doing my work, ipod cranking...come home in the rain & slept a along while...
last night i followed some of the same route, ending up at the same places, a sandwich shop & a doughnut shop next door, both open all night...focussed all i had on writing, wanting to bring the year to a strong finish...got home this morning about 6, SPF chat for a stretch, heh...
2005 was pretty all over the place, high and low and higher near the end...i have 5 bucks to my name tonight but paycheck coming, & anyway will be in KD's town through new year's day, returning all will be improved...but five bucks for now...have to clean & clean as i vowed...i'm grateful to be at the psychic & physical space i'm in...i'll think of you all at my wedding sat. night...
next year, a new online journal, maybe deeper than simply changing fortunes...peace to you all, health & sometimes at least contentment too...see ya in '06 :twisted:
Raymond
Oh six!
It's gonna be a year - for sure
have a great union
enjoy the click of the spirits
(break a wine glass for luck)
and may the year crack open its finest for you, KD and the rest of us, your spf extended family.
love to you Raymond
judih